Nov 192016
 
image - loneliness vs. being alone
People ask me how can I have gone to India three times by myself.  They question me…..’weren’t you scared, fearful or  lonely?” I never felt scared because I like new and different. I never felt fearful because I learned very quickly that the Indian people are sensational and kind.   But I wondered whether I would feel lonely travelling solo on public transportation, not having moment to moment conversation with a fellow traveler, or sleeping in foreign beds with family far away.
I quickly began to realize that being alone and lonely were very different choices for the mind and heart to embrace.   They didn’t resemble each other at all. After this realization I sat down and tapped on my keys in Evernote what I felt the difference of “being lonely and being alone” I realized,in my life, some of my loneliest times were when I have been surrounded by masses of people and some of my most precious moments were  being all alone in India.
Let my writing be a spark to your heart to share with yourself the difference for you of “being alone and being lonely.

Some ways that loneliness can be described is the isolation that comes with an expectation unmet, a feeling unreturned, or experiencing a state of abandonment.

alone = without anyone with you
being alone = is about being feeling whole and filled up when you are alone
Our language has created word loneliness to express the pain of being alone and another word called solitude to express the glory of being alone. Nietzsche says the individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.  If you try it, you will be lonely often and sometimes frightened.   No price is too high for the privledge of owning oneself.
  1. Being alone is the feeling when you are in the best part of a love affair, living in the state of amazement, of joy, of intense love, of undying belief that life is magical.  Loneliness is the worst part of a love affair, living in a state weeping inside with your mask and amour firmly in place.  Anne Frank says the best remedy for thos who are afraid, lonely or unhappy is to go outside somewhere where your soul and mind can be quiet, alone with nature and the heavens because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
  2. Loneliness wants to find distractions to numb the pain of the lost soul.  Being alone is having the courage to be present with both the light and the dark, to capture the sight, sounds, and feelings of life, to connect with that deep and powerful yearning of union with ones lost soul.   To ask yourself often…..who am I?Wayne Dyer says you cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with or Sartre says if you are lonely when you are alone,  you are in bad company.
  3. Loneliness causes confusion of why and how we are worthy.  Being alone allows the the best self to step forward, to embrace with courage imperfection,to connect with authenticity and say “I am worthy of a good and full life“.   Woody Allen say 80% of life’s success and happiness is just showing up.
  4. Loneliness is being disconnected to your vulnerability and not committed to your life’s authenticity. Being alone is belonging to yourself first and being committed and open to others next. Einstein says it is strange to be known so universally and yet to be so lonely.
  5. Loneliness is rooted in holding onto the fear of what could be and shame of what was.  Being alone is letting go and becoming physically and mentally free.
  6. Loneliness is rooted in a brain overload that is shortening out and a mind riot that no one can hear. Being alone is the soft  solitude of the brain learning and practising new healthful responses and the mind slowing down.
  7. Loneliness is always looking for someone to save you and relying on them for your happiness.  Being alone is a brave soul standing in their bright shining light and knowing you are the only one to create happiness for you.
  8. Loneliness is longing for something that doesn’t exist.  Being alone is finding and savouring everything that exists in solitude.
  9. Loneliness is where the deepest activities begin, the stirring up of dissatisfaction but without the energy to do anything about it. Being alone faces dissatisfaction  with energy and power, sits in profound repose, finds vision in obscurity to discover new pathways with fulfillment extends beyond infinity.
  10. Loneliness is wanting more stuff and quick fixes.  Being alone is being content with what we have.
And finally, on the humorous side…
A man in a bookstore buys a book on loneliness and every woman in the store hits on him.  A woman buys a book on loneliness and the store clears out.
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